Remarks at the Radio and Television Correspondents' Association Dinner

Thank you, Brian. Laura and I are happy to be here. I'd like to thank the Radio and TV Correspondents' Association for providing dinner tonight. And I'd like to thank Senator Webb for providing security. [Laughter]

I'm glad to see everybody here is enjoying themselves. Don't think I haven't noticed all the drinking that's been going on. [Laughter] In my State of the Union Address, I said we needed to increase the use of ethanol. [Laughter]

Well, where should I start? A year ago, my approval rating was in the thirties; my nominee for the Supreme Court had just withdrawn; and my Vice President had shot someone. [Laughter] Ah, those were the good old days. [Laughter] Sorry the Vice President couldn't be here. [Laughter] He's had a rough few weeks. To be honest, his feelings are kind of hurt. He said he was going on vacation to Afghanistan, where people like him. [Laughter]

You in the press certainly have had a lot to report lately. Take the current controversy. I have to admit, we really blew the way we let those attorneys go. You know you've botched it when people sympathize with lawyers. [Laughter]

Speaking of subpoenas, it's good to see Speaker Pelosi tonight. [Laughter] You know, some have wondered how the two of us would get along. Some say she's bossy; she's opinionated; she's not to be crossed—hey, I get along with my mother. [Laughter]

But between the Congress and the press, there is a lot of scrutiny in this job. Not a day goes by that I don't get scrutineered one way or the other. [Laughter] The press is a lot tougher the second term. It's reached the point I sometimes call on Helen Thomas just to hear a friendly voice. [Laughter]

No matter how tough it gets, however, I have no intention of becoming a lame-duck President, unless, of course, Cheney accidentally shoots me in the leg. [Laughter] Hey, I have 664 days left in the White House, so technically, I'm a temporary guest-worker. [Laughter]

I'm considering what's next. President Clinton, of course, wrote a very successful Presidential memoirs, with 10,000 pages or something. [Laughter] I'm thinking of something really fun and creative for mine—you know, maybe a popup book. [Laughter] I'm considering a number of titles. Which do you like: "How W Got His Groove Back"—[laughter]—"Who Moved My Presidency?" or "Tuesdays With Cheney"? [Laughter]

By the way, I'm not sure whether or not Senator Obama is here. The last I heard, he was not coming to the Radio and TV Correspondents' dinner—not enough press. [Laughter] People Magazine recently had a photo of the Senator there on the beach in Hawaii—his sleek, hairless pecs glistening in the surf. [Laughter] It shows how biased the press is. Have you ever seen a shot like that of Denny Hastert? [Laughter]

Before I do sit down, I do want to say a couple of things. I'm very happy one person who could not be here last year is here tonight, and that's Bob Woodruff. Bob, we know it hasn't been easy. We admire you all the more for what you've overcome and what you're still overcoming.

And, Ava and Christine and Nicole Bloom, many of us knew your dad. And I know life is hard without him. He was such a fine guy. But one thing we've all seen this evening is that he has fine daughters, and I know he would be really proud of you.

Someone who is not here tonight is Tony Snow. When Tony called me and told me the outcome of his surgery, my heart just sank. But I know Tony is a fighter. And, Tony, we're all looking forward to the day when you come back to the White House.

Last week, we all heard the news about Elizabeth Edwards, and, again, your heart just sinks for what she and her family faces. And so to Bob Woodruff, the Bloom girls, Elizabeth Edwards, Tony Snow and, of course, our men and women in uniform, Laura and I and millions of other Americans are praying for you and your families.

May God bless you, and thank you very much.